I AM A RUNNER

I have come to that conclusion slowly and even with some degree of reluctance. It was once only something that I did, only one event in a life filled with activities. Slowly I began to realize that being a runner is not something that I do; but rather it is who I am. It defines a part, and sometimes a major part, of my life. Few things provide the same joy and satisfaction.

Being a runner does not make me better or smarter than others. Sometimes I sense that the reverse might be true. In beginning warmups on a miserably cold day I have had the distinct impression that all of the smart people were home in bed. In fact there was the conviction that anyone with the IQ of a kindergartner would have been somewhere else. Yet, in spite of rain or wind or snow the runners are on the starting line awaiting the sound of the gun.

How do you decide if you are a real runner? When you feel the best after your most difficult runs and wind up depressed because you have accepted your own excuses for not running at all. When you never see a runner on the street or passing your house without wishing that you were warmed up and ready to follow. When being called a jogger sounds like an insult and the suggestion of long slow runs has no appeal. When you can no longer imagine a full life without it. Gradually you begin to get the idea.

It is not even true that runners always want to run. They may actually dread certain races more than most. The fact is they feel they have to run. They know they are only going to feel worse later if they don't.

As a runner you must not expect too much understanding. Even those closest to you may view you with a degree of sympathy or awe; but not understanding. There are still the questions: "Why do you have to run today?" "Why can't you at least wait for favorable weather?" "If running hard hurts so much then why do you do it?" "Why would anyone want to run is scorching heat or on wet, slippery roads?   The questions go on and on... Not because they don't love you; but because they don't and can't understand. You move in a world that to them is incomprehensible.

Thankfully, I still have priorities. I do not want running to dominate and control my life. I still want to feel that I would have a life without it. BUT, for good or bad, I am a runner. It is part of who I am. It gives me joy, satisfaction and pain. It makes me feel good about myself. I can talk more freely with runners than most anyone else. We live in the same private world.

If, with what ever hesitation, you have decided that you, too, are a runner: welcome to the club. I will see you on the trails.