FACING FAILURES SQUARELY

FACING FAILURES SQUARELY

I have stood numerous times next to a casket, following a funeral service, as the friends and family passed by.  I have observed that only a very small percentage of those present will ever look directly at the face of the deceased.  Since death is a reminder of our Own mortality, we seem to feel that by ignoring it, it will somehow be less real.  So some will give a fleeting, side-long glance at the departed.  Some will not look at all, even though they may have been close to them in life.  I do not criticize either of these, for we all must face grief in our own way.  I have observed, however, that such conduct usually lengthens, rather than shortens, the grief process.  Even small children seem to heal more rapidly when they are taken to a funeral service, permitted to look into the face of their loved one, and tell them goodbye.  After doing that, they can adjust to their loss and go on with living.  Please understand, I am not the authority of what you should do in your family.  I am only sharing what I have observed.

It seems that we face a similar situation in racing.  You don't do much running without experiencing some failures.  Some will be almost totally your own fault.  Others you could hardly have prevented at all; but how you react from this point on will have a definite impact upon your running and your enjoyment of it.

At times I have had such a failure on race day that I didn't want to think about it, much less talk to anyone else about it.  I just wanted it to go away.  I would have liked to pretend that it hadn't even happened! When I tried to ignore it, however, I found that it only got bigger.  It was there at the back of my mind, influencing my sub-conscious, so I would continue for days to be depressed and discouraged.

Over time, I learned that I did best if I would face these failures head-one.  If I would look them squarely in the face and determine their cause, I could deal with them much better.  It would also shorten the time of my disappointment; and allow me to look at running in a more positive way.

WHEN FAILURE COMES:
1.  SOMETIMES IT IS JUST NO BIG DEAL.  Maybe no one even noticed but you.  The world still turns.  The sun still comes up.  You may not even remember a week from today.  So just keep it in proportion.  Don't make it something bigger than it is.

2.  SOMETIMES YOU COULD NOT HAVE PREVENTED IT AT ALL.  You seem to have done everything right; but still you failed.  Why should you accept responsibility for something that you could not have prevented? Some things are simply not under your control.

3.  SOMETIMES IT WAS TOTALLY YOUR FAULT.  You had a good plan; but you didn't follow it.  You broke your own set of rules.  It makes you feel a little stupid; but beating up on yourself will not do you or your running any good.  Instead, it is time to think constructively about what you can do better next time.

THERE ARE LESSONS TO BE LEARNED IN FAILURE.  We actually learn more by failure than we do by success.  One defeat may teach us more than a dozen victories.  It is sad only when we don 't learn the lessons.

S0 EVALUATE MISTAKES QUICKLY.  Don't let them fester.  Don't permit any lingering depression.  On the same day of the race, or no later than the next day, determine exactly what went wrong.  .  .  make your plans for fixing it.  .  .  and then put it behind you.

HERE ARE MY SUGGESTIONS:
1.  Look your failures squarely in the face.  (They only get bigger if you try to ignore them.  )
2.  Evaluate their cause quickly.  (Within two days of the event.  )
3.  Don 't dwell on them.  (Determine how to remedy them and then move on.  )
4.  Resolve to learn from your mistakes.  (They get serious only when we repeat them.  )

If you can do this, your next victory will be all the sweeter; and joy will flow back into your running.  The storm clouds of yesterday make us appreciate all the more the sunshine of today.  Just forget the past and press On!